cold.

                  crush much? yes, just yes. my edges are stressing. hippie, hippie - milkshake!

tothemenihaveloved.

I finally got around to reading Letters, to the Men I have Loved, by new author, actress, poet Mirtha Michelle Castro Marmol... and I must say I really enjoyed it! It was so beautifully written. these simple thoughts and emotions that all women must have had and experienced eloquently expressed in short letters and poems categorized by all stages of a relationship. lust, love, and wisdom to forgiveness, change, resentment and hope.

A few of my favorite passages...

"But if it weren't for those mistakes I wouldn't have seen the beauty in me. I wouldn't have awoken the goddess that lives in me. you see, goddesses although immortal were all flawed. they were all a bit extreme at their calling, and they were all betrayed and hurt at some point. they were even considered devious but what made them unique was their strength. they did not give up. their circumstances did not deter them from their purpose or bestowing their gifts to humans. whether it was the gift of love, art, wisdom, family, intelligence, beauty or war. they gave gifts to whomever they encountered. i pray my mistakes, my loves and my pains be turned into gifts. let those gifts serve as motivation that there is strength in each and every once of us, no matter how big the ordeal has been. i pray my gifts live as myths in words with whomever i encounter, and for my words to live beyond the chambers of mortality..."

"when I met you if someone would have told me then I was going to fall in love with you, I think I would have laughed in their face. you were only supposed to be fun, an experimental phase in my young life, but life surprised me and you were fire. a fire that consumed me, and a fire that burned me. a fire that ignited my first feelings of anger, and pity, but also one of love, and in that you became a creative muse of sorts in my life. words would flow from my heart to paper, naturally. and you never knew. Ironically later you would say I was your muse."

"I chose to awake the goddess that lived in me. because why would a girl want to be treated like a princess or a queen when there is a rare species that prefers to be treated like a myth. for why would I want to be a mere mortal, if there is a goddess that lives in me? I realized the immense potential of the woman in me, and I made a choice to become her, the woman I yearned to be."

chamberofcuriosity.

                      My newest book love. The Chamber of Curiosity: Apartment Design and the New Elegance is like having all of my favorite ELLE Decor and AD homes in one book. Since visiting so many different european cities I've been obsessed with seeing whats going on inside of the buildings and how differently (and similarly) people around the world choose to live and decorate.

I was particularly pleased to find many of the homes I've pinned are featured with more images and details so I feel like I will always have them, whereas I occasionally stress over the thought that my pins could and will disappear at some point in the future. oh well haha.

simple.

  whatever you do in your life, if you do it for a long time, you get simple in the end. being simple sounds very easy, but it's one of the most difficult things to do. because simple is not just about being simple. -moon rhee

Europe 04 / Germany

    I didn't spend much time in Germany, it was essentially just a long rode trip between the Netherlands and Switzerland. I would love to return one day to visit Munich and Berlin, but until then I only have memories of the lush green hills and enchanting black forest.

frenchminimalism.

#yes.

            Linda Evangelista shot by Steven Meisel for Vogue Italia, February 1989.   Sensuality, vibrancy, and heat all in encompassed in one shoot. Via Karla Deras

truths.

even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. -c.s. lewis

it's hard for me to chit chat with people because the things i generally want to discuss most never even think about.

xx, C

palm.

    After spending the last week working a photoshoot in miami, i'm loving everything about this tropical set designed by Andrea Ferrari and Studiopepe for ELLE Decor Italy.      

Europe 03 / Amsterdam

  Brussels and Amsterdam definitely surprised me the most—I had no idea what either looked like so I went with zero expectations and fell completely in love.         The first few hours the only word I could think to describe everything was "cool." I know that seems so simple, but literally the entire vibe of the city was just chill and the utopian mash-up of cultures and styles was so laid back and effortless.

I went on a walking tour of the Red Light District my first night in Amsterdam and it was such an eye-opening experience. but i loved how open-minded and practical the dutch people are. that whole "people are going to do it anyway so we may as well come up with a smart safe way for it to work (and benefit us)" mentality. not to mention all of the amazing concept shoppes tucked in and around the area.       …then I discovered their vintage book markets and completely lost my shit. I wanted to bring home at least 20 books and ended up mailing some home before leaving the city. it's basically {one} of the main reasons I can't wait to get back.       xx, C

surreal.

    I am BEYOND obsessed with Missoni's FW14 campaign featuring Joan Smalls. Art, architecture, AND fashion!? yaass.            

atelier.

  im obsessed with watching artists work.

i love the movements and the passion on their face that lets you know something intense is going on behind their eyes. or maybe not. maybe they're so lost in their work that its allowing them temporary relief from the world.       the studio tour photo shoots are my absolute favorite part of the magazine process & they always leave me aching for more workspace of my own.

i have so many ideas bouncing around at once that i need to have multiple canvases set up so i can do them all at the same time, but also other areas where I can experiment with my collages and other things. I set up a mini workspace in my garage but its still missing that certain je ne sais quoi to get me in there. i realize this is just an excuse but I'm fine with that for now. my art is so deep-rooted into my being and the way i see the world and images and everything that I know whether I work everyday or take a 5 year hiatus it will always be there.         ps— totally crushing on fly art productions. all images from here or here.

perfume.

Over the course of my trip I read 5 books selected to go along with the places I was visiting. While traveling through France, I read Perfume: The Story of a Murderer; which was set in the slums of eighteenth-century Paris. It was creepy, very strange, slightly disturbing but very passionate, tragic and beautifully written. and while in the French Riviera I was able to visit the Fragonard factory, one of the oldest parfumeries in the world (I believe) that happened to be playing the movie version of the book (lol).

Here are a few of my favorite excerpts:

“He drank in the aroma, he drowned in it, impregnating himself through his innermost pores, until he became wood himself; he lay on the cord of wood like a wooden puppet, like Pinocchio, as if dead, until after a long while, perhaps a half hour or more, he gagged up the word “wood.” He vomited the word up, as if he were filled with wood to his ears, as if buried in wood to his neck, as if his stomach, his gorge, his nose were spilling over with wood.”

"Or why should smoke possess only the name “smoke,” when from minute to minute, second to second, the amalgam of hundreds of odors mixed iridescently into ever new and changing unities as the smoke rose from the fire … or why should earth, landscape, air—each filled at every step and every breath with yet another odor and thus animated with another identity—still be designated by just those three coarse words. All these grotesque incongruities between the richness of the world perceivable by smell and the poverty of language were enough for the lad Grenouille to doubt if language made any sense at all.”

“And what was more, he even knew how by sheer imagination to arrange new combinations of them, to the point where he created odors that did not exist in the real world.”

“Perhaps the closest analogy to his talent is the musical wunderkind, who has heard his way inside melodies and harmonies to the alphabet of individual tones and now composes completely new melodies and harmonies all on his own. With the one difference, however, that the alphabet of odors is incomparably larger and more nuanced than that of tones; and with the additional difference that the creative activity of Grenouille the wunderkind took place only inside him and could be perceived by no one other than himself.”

“He was not out to make his fortune with his art; he didn’t even want to live from it if he could find another way to make a living. He wanted to empty himself of his innermost being, of nothing less than his innermost being, which he considered more wonderful than anything else the world had to offer. And thus Baldini’s conditions were no conditions at all for Grenouille.”

1.2.3.4.5.6

parisvsnewyork.

  I discovered Zing in a shop near the Arc de Triomphe in Paris. It was wrapped in plastic so i had no idea what was inside or where it came from, but I was obsessed with the cover and it's subtitle "a curatorial crossing". I discovered later that it's been based + published in Brooklyn since 1995.

I love their manifesto:

"zingmagazine came out of the idea that within certain disciplines, artistic and otherwise, various cross-references occur, both with individuals and the material of their particular interest. Rather than remaining isolated and apart, either through an unaware and uninformed (or aware and informed) malaise, there is a need to commingle arenas.

By establishing a forum of collaborative exchange, zingmagazine examines points of both similar and dissimilar articulations. Like sets and subsets in a mathematical diagram, having similar and opposite properties, parts of the exchange will share epiphanies while others will securely diverge.

But in the examination of these current issues, born out of the curatorial collaborative spirit, zingmagazine reaches for the crossing point, and it is from this "crossing" where fiction meets poetry for lunch, theorists mingle with artists over which they are, and while we all assume new boundaries with an excess of technology in the modern world that we find our inspiration. Likewise, it is from this crossing that the title is honed.

The format of zingmagazine is comprised of rotating curatorial projects. Each curator is invited to create a context of their choosing for each issue. A myriad of different disciplines are explored in each issue from architecture, design, fiction, poetry, drawing, photography, video, music, fashion, as well as a special projects including books, posters, and CDs. Lack of parameters or limits is the impetus, with the idea that the creative impulse, within each of the curators/disciplines, will produce individual projects both of the curators and the participants."

Devon Dikeou New York, New York 1995                   This issue is from August 2013 so I hope they're putting out a new one soon. www.zingmagazine.com

Europe 02 / Paris

  so paris.

a status I posted on FB pretty much sums it up: "I think one of the things I like best about Paris is that it has so many buildings, doors and statues in all my favorite shades of green, lined in black white or cream with gold accents. Everywhere."       Honestly though, it kinda broke my heart. I think I built it up so much from what I've seen that when I was actually there and it rained majority of the time without my lover it just wasn't the experience I'd dreamt about. (unlike amsterdam — which I'll get to later— that I had no expectations for and it was insane).

That said, I do think that Paris was insanely beautiful and romantic and I cannot wait to come back someday with b and an unplanned schedule so we can just stroll and hold hands and make-out like all the other couples. i couldn't get enough of the gold, chipped paint, ornate ceilings, gorgeous marble, strange details.       My favorite experiences in Paris: 1. the late afternoon river cruise (+banana/nutella crepes) that turned into a glittering night atop the eiffel tower. 2. getting caught in the rain in the gardens of versailles. 3. wandering through the Louve and accidentally running into a few of my favorite paintings (because i didn't realize/remember thats where they lived). 4. the evening in montmartre. literally was a movie— and certainly one of my favorite places. 5. running into slam productions (after seeing posters all over belleville) and walking out with 2 posters and a shirt gifted by the owner.       i remember throughout the trip having a hard time staying in the present. everything was so surreal, i kept telling myself this is actually happening right now. this is where i am. it sounds crazy, but it was going by so fast and i was seeing so many different things that it was hard to truly capture each moment and remember the details. and look, now it's over. almost as if the present is the past and the future is the present.           bon voyage.

summertimesadness.

Summer Sundays often have a way of turning into those lazy lounge days where I feel perfectly OK doing nothing. It's on these Sundays that I usually drift to that pile of daydreams and bounce them around with b and today was no different. Once he dozed off I began catching up on a few of my favorite { blogs } and came across one that resonated perfectly with my current state:

"There are certain kinds of success most people find easier to quantify. They usually involve better than average salaries, stock options, and benefits. I have none of those, sometimes I allow myself to feel like a loser because of it. Some creative people I know get by this way because they have no other choice. It’s even harder to stay my course knowing I have a corporate resumé to default to if I give up my real dreams again. Trust me, the only thing harder than working over time at a day job for a measly ten vacations days a year is to wake up every morning and realize you are the only captain of your ship. You can stay in bed all day wondering if you’re really as brave as you thought. I would be lying if I did not admit I struggle almost every to get out of bed for that very reason. There is no timesheet, no punch card to clock in or out, and confidence or sense of certainty a “think positive” infographic on Pinterest can instill in you. Even so, you have to get out of bed and do the best you know how and just have faith. 2014 has been infinitely more challenging on an emotional level than I thought, doubt seems to be a strong theme. But the only thing I’m more afraid of than being lost or having “failed” by the end of this year is not living the life I really want to live. That is the state of me. All that to say, I’m doing away with this bullshit one year rule and replacing it with a lifetime."

Read the full post by Haleigh of Making Magique here.

1, 2.

pinktoes.

  the only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion. -albert camus

all i've been listening to lately is jhene aiko, rochelle jordan and tinashe.

Europe 01 / London

  Ahh London. My first international experience. Looking back I cannot think of a better city to have started my trip. I instantly fell in love with everything about it and at the time falsely assumed that it was because I hadn't seen everything else and was just excited to be there. From this side I can say London is still one of my favorite cities—top 5 for sure—and I cannot wait to return.       I vividly remember the taxi ride (on the opposite side of the road) from the airport to our hostel and immediately noticed how stylish and posh everyone was. The street style was by far my favorite here. and my god, the architecture. I have 100s of doorway, ceiling detail, and store front images that I flitted around snapping with probably as much grace as a crazy person and the same crazed facial expression.       Within a day I was trying to convince B to let us live there and began fantasizing about what it would be like to wake up in London everyday and get to do life their way. How long would it take for me to become immune to it's charm?       I miss walking. as in walking as my form of transportation vs. going on a walk for exercise. I miss being in a place that allows me to physically become a part of the city and forces me to be outside therefore seeing and experiencing all of the details we miss from the comfort and safety of our cars.         There is no way for me to describe my experience in a way that makes sense or even fully captures my feelings, what I did/saw, or the city itself. so i think these posts will just contain random thoughts I had at the time and not really focus on any of the details. but to round this first one out here are a few of my favorite moments in London:

1. (Sherlock Holmes?) themed bicycle ride I saw across from St. Paul's Cathedral. 2. Fish & Chips the second night at a random bar. I don't eat seafood so this was big and it was delicious. 3. Wandering through the spitalfields market where I got a vintage black kimono that I'm obsessed with. 4. Meeting up with two of my best friends from LA. 5. and obviously visiting the Harry Potter Studios.. it was completely surreal.  

#this.

In fact a mature person does not fall in love, he rises in love. The word ’fall’ is not right. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand – they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have that integrity to stand alone.

A mature person has the integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives without any strings attached to it: he simply gives. And when a mature person gives love, he feels grateful that you have accepted his love, not vice versa. He does not expect you to be thankful for it – no, not at all, he does not even need your thanks. He thanks you for accepting his love. And when two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone; they are together so much so that they are almost one. But their oneness does not destroy their individuality, in fact, it enhances it: they become more individual.

Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free. There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. How can you dominate the person you love? Just think over it. Domination is a sort of hatred, anger, enmity. How can you think of dominating a person you love? You would love to see the person totally free, independent; you will give him more individuality. That’s why I call it the greatest paradox: they are together so much so that they are almost one, but still in that oneness they are individuals. Their individualities are not effaced – they have become more enhanced. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned.

Immature people falling in love destroy each other’s freedom, create a bondage, make a prison. Mature persons in love help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages. And when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness.

— Osho

vivrant.inmadrid.

  What a gorgeous place! this little gem is the Madrid home of interior designer Mariam Alia. Madrid is now one of my favorite cities and seeing this home just adds to the magic of what I imagined was hidden in all of those fabulous apartment buildings.

i'm still sorting through my 8000+ images from the trip. tales to come! Images Via Desire to Inspire