milkshakes.

Daydream delusion
Limousine Eyelash
Oh, baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet cakes and milkshakes
I am a delusion angel
I am a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don’t want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we’re going
Lodged in life Like two branches in a river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current I’ll carry you.
You’ll carry me
That’s how it could be
Don’t you know me?
Don’t you know me by now?

before sunrise.

Europe 07 / Assisi Roma & the Vatican City

Assisi was amazing. I wish I could've spent at least a night there vs just a few hours, but it was one of my favorite little stops. The entire city was cobble stone and felt like a giant olive garden haha. I took tons of touristy pictures and literally COULD not get over the unbelievable view. It looked exactly like every painting of italy I've ever seen.     Just before getting to Assisi, we stopped at a small vineyard and got drunk on strawberry wine and chocolate haha. I bought my mom this delicious truffle honey and in hindsight, should have bought a bottle to bring home as well.     On the way to Roma I wrote in my journal that it was so refreshing to get back to the things I love. Observing, reading, writing, seeing new places, listening to music and truly hearing and feeling it. These all seem like normal everyday things, but it's amazing how life gets in the way and you really cherish having time to just listen to an entire playlist while looking out the window. no responsibilities, no worries. just in the moment.     I'd forgotten how much I loved Rome. I'm SO glad I made myself keep a journal the entire time. I was super OCD about detailing every thing I did each night or morning so I could relive the trip whenever I like. I ate so much pizza and gelato in italy its ridiculous. and by pizza I mean the entire thing, almost every day. gelato like 3x a day hahaha, no shame.

Whenever people ask about my favorite cities, I always say I loved Rome, but it wasn't what I was expecting. It actually looked the way I imagined Spain ha. and I hated how touristy it was in areas (but this was true in most places) and how many cheesy tourist shops there were, selling the same junk (that was likely made in china) taking up spaces in the beautiful ancient buildings.     I wrote "Rome is so exotic. There are parts that look exactly like a city within a jungle. Deteriorating buildings in the most beautiful colors amidst tons of trees and foliage. The burnt orange, pale pinks and blues, against shades of green, black and cream are my favorite."   OMG the Vatican. I'm not going to say much about it, because I'm not sure how to even describe how much I enjoyed it. The museum, the history, the Sistine Chapel. St. Peter's Basilica. ugh. I need to go back, but again it's something that I feel like I'll either never return to or wait until I have children to take and share it with, because there are so many other places in Italy and even Rome I'm still dying to visit.     The ceilings and the statues, were hands down my favorite. They had so much emotion, so much pain. and the insane level of perfection and detail. gahhh.. this is the reason I haven't been properly artgasming hahaha. I need to get back to Europe and have my socks blown off.     Next stop under the tuscan sun.

XX

goyk.

I've been really, really into my tumblr these days. I can feel myself getting back into hyper-artistic mode and hope my new schedule in LA will allow me to dedicate some solid time to making physical works again.

my hands need something to do and my eyes need a break from all these screens.

setlife.

  I went to new york the second week in january to art direct half of a photoshoot for Off Broadway Shoes with one of the agencies I work for, MODE. It was a really great experience, but I was especially glad that I had already been to new york and had my chance to explore the city because we were literally in a giant (though beautiful) warehouse in the bronx all day long.

I always love interacting with all of the team members it takes to really pull a shoot together. the prop and wardrobe stylists, HAMU artists, producer, photographer, all the helpful guys, and of course the models.     I was able to squeeze in a few great dinners with friends and the team, a quick trip to the met and mini shopping spree in soho.     Until the next time…

twenty-five.

So I'm 25 now, whatever that means.

My birthday was New Years Eve and I purposely didn't do another goal/resolution post because my only goal this year is to live. To live fully and happily without trying to plan out every step of the way. I am so proud of what I've accomplished this past year and I don't plan to slow down — but I really do need to relax a bit.

I have this really bad habit of comparing my life and levels of success to people on the internet and I have to constantly remind myself that 1) you cannot compare your beginning to someone else's middle and 2) just like instagram — basically no one's life ACTUALLY looks the way it does online.

It's funny being 25 in some ways I feel like I know myself better than ever and in others I'm still completely lost. I do feel like I've grown immensely since my college days. It's kinda like that quote copy copy copy what you love and then at the end you'll find yourself. I spent years duplicating things I liked—specifically editorial/graphic design things–and now I feel like my style is evolving into something that really feels like me... but I'm kinda hyper-aware of it. so before I was doing things I liked, but that weren't 100% me and now it's like I'm too aware of who I am and maintaining my brand... and basically now I'm ready to just live and be me without being conscious of myself. (gawd. that sounds a little crazy ha!)

I've loved collaging since I was a kid and I think that's why I've always gravitated towards tumblr and pinterest. I cannot just say ONE thing is me. Not one style or one image or item. I'm like 10 things selected in such a way for strange reasons that feel good to me and are viewed all at once. A constant curation. 

This entire year ended up being about exploration and learning. I did so many things for the first time and changed my mind more times than I'd like to admit. But when I really look back at everything I did this year and everything I accomplished myself I have to say this is definitely one of the best years of my life so far. Everything happens for a reason. I know. It's cliche but it's so true and it just feels good to believe that everything will work out and just go with the flow. 

xx, C

*the shot of me was captured by my friend maximushka — an amazing bucket list experience.

Europe 01 / London

  Ahh London. My first international experience. Looking back I cannot think of a better city to have started my trip. I instantly fell in love with everything about it and at the time falsely assumed that it was because I hadn't seen everything else and was just excited to be there. From this side I can say London is still one of my favorite cities—top 5 for sure—and I cannot wait to return.       I vividly remember the taxi ride (on the opposite side of the road) from the airport to our hostel and immediately noticed how stylish and posh everyone was. The street style was by far my favorite here. and my god, the architecture. I have 100s of doorway, ceiling detail, and store front images that I flitted around snapping with probably as much grace as a crazy person and the same crazed facial expression.       Within a day I was trying to convince B to let us live there and began fantasizing about what it would be like to wake up in London everyday and get to do life their way. How long would it take for me to become immune to it's charm?       I miss walking. as in walking as my form of transportation vs. going on a walk for exercise. I miss being in a place that allows me to physically become a part of the city and forces me to be outside therefore seeing and experiencing all of the details we miss from the comfort and safety of our cars.         There is no way for me to describe my experience in a way that makes sense or even fully captures my feelings, what I did/saw, or the city itself. so i think these posts will just contain random thoughts I had at the time and not really focus on any of the details. but to round this first one out here are a few of my favorite moments in London:

1. (Sherlock Holmes?) themed bicycle ride I saw across from St. Paul's Cathedral. 2. Fish & Chips the second night at a random bar. I don't eat seafood so this was big and it was delicious. 3. Wandering through the spitalfields market where I got a vintage black kimono that I'm obsessed with. 4. Meeting up with two of my best friends from LA. 5. and obviously visiting the Harry Potter Studios.. it was completely surreal.